Memories after a witness to a union

Today was a mix day for me. My poly mate and a very good friend of mine, Ah Beng had his customery wedding today. I was his "Xiong Di" together with Zhaohua and Jin Ye. Woke up at 6.30am cos need to reach his place before 7.30am to discuss the "battleplan". As usual, I was the earliest thou the morning traffic was kind of unexpected heavy. Anyway, we left to Ah Beng Wife's place at 8.20am.

The gatecrashing was suprisingly easy. LOL we, had prepare mentally for the fear factor style, eating or drinking something disgusting. But in the end, we spend only 10 mins "negotating" the Ang Bao money and that's it. No eating, drinking or pole dancing. By the time we finished everything, it was already 1+pm. I was dead tired, quickly went home and had a quick shower and took a quick nap before the wedding banquet.

Reach Noble house @7.30pm but the wedding banquet starts at 9pm. I was amazed at the speed of the dishes being serve. I did a mental observation, 9 dishes in 1 and 1/2 hrs.

All in all I was happy for Ah Beng and his wife Erika, at the banquet I had to keep smiling but deep down in my heart, I was feeling kind of sad about me and Audrey. It brings back the memories of both of us walking down the isle. That time, although the 2 of us was extremely tired but we were truly happy about our union. I know in my heart there will only be 1 woman in my life even if circumstances don't allow us to be together.

Its sad to see that a relationship goes down the drain not because of a 3rd party but it's when all communication brokes down.

Worst night.

Damn, my right hand is so painful I can't sleep the whole night. It's not as in shown in movies, where the actor punch onto a piece of glass panel n his knuckles and max he is only having scratches. The doctor say I am lucky as the glass had not cut my fingers tendons. Any deeper my fingers could be gone. But the piece of skin that was dangling could drop off.

The whole clean up process is so painful, 1st the doctor has to clean away my dry blood using the medicated lotion, it sure feels like 100 of bees stinging me. Next come the most painful part, he lift up my skin using a princer and starts probing into the wound with it to look for any foreign object (glass) that may still be in it. All the time the blood flows like a river. After a good 1 min, the doctor was satisfied that there isn't any glass left in my wound. After which, he starts to apply a pressure bandage on my wound to stop the bleeding. It could be remove the next morning and I have to apply a new dressing over it myself. All in all the whole doctor's fees was a whopping $76.00. I should have went to mediacl school myself. LOL

I woke up in the middle of the night and the pain is so unbearable. I am 1 who will admit that I could endure a lot of pain. Problem is there are 2 parts of my body feeling the pain, on my right hand and in my heart. The 1st is still bearable, no doubt I cannot clunch my fist. It is nothing compare to my heart. I think there's no more light at the end of the tunnel now. Sometimes, as humans we love to be able to spend our whole life with someone that we like, but due to some reasons it is not possible no matter how hard we tried. Its better not to go against it, if not at the end, it will be painful for both parties.

My heart has bled to death, nothing can revive it now. I know what to do next thou I may not wish to do it but it is a must for me to do.

A new cleaning assistant

Tested out this Scotch-Brite Micro Fibre Mop from 3M this morning. Its much easier to use then those paper types. It cleans easier and picks up dust and hair strands with much ease. Haha never realise that the floor was so dirty. It's worth the $29.xx that I have paid. I would really recommend it for quick clean ups.

Did lots of washing of dishes as well that was piled up for the past few days by Audrey. She still does not know what kind of home I want. Haiz guess she will not know how does a home should be. On one hand I am trying to clean up the mess, on the other she is creating more on purpose. That shows what kind of home environment she wants. Guess I have more mess to clean up in this few days.

Is there still light??

Finally the last straw is here, I was locked out of the house. Reason, Audrey suspected I was meeting a woman or my friends. Goodness, I was just going downstairs to buy some stuff from Shop and Safe. There are ants at home, I need to get some ant baits. Those irritating insects are happily crawling around the kitchen top.

I need to buy a magic mob as well, the floors at home is getting dusty, also its having a promo, buy 1 and get a magic duster free. While I was getting the stuff I need to buy, I received a sms on my mobile. Guess what, Audrey message me, I don't have to go back cos she had pad-locked the gate. I can take it if she had send me nasty sms, but locking the gate was the last thing I could ever accept. Come on, even if I was meeting my friends for dinner or coffee, there's nothing wrong with it. She's really controlling every aspect of my life now. I really need breathing space.

Whatever it is, I really starting to have doubts about this marriage. I need a wife who cares about my feelings, give me the warm of a home. Not this! On other hand, I really have love her with my whole heart, how could she suspect me. Now I really have to think about it, is there still light for both of us or we should just let go.

Ponders

OMG!!!!! What is going on??? Are we going into another round of cold war?

I am not angry with Audrey for not allowing me to come back today to play the game. Instead, I am not happy with her not telling me whether she is busy or not. I am ok if she's busy and need to attend to the work in office. At least, let me know right and not letting me guess and wait at the side. I had told Audrey, if she's busy, we don't have to go back early.

Ya, know what I saw, she is busy. YES, "BUSY" in msn-ing, those friends of her's. Come on, I am invisble??? I am sitting there waiting and looking at YOU! Eventually I could stand it anymore and I ask, "You're still busy???" Oh right and that was already 5.30pm. It took YOU, to take notice of me after more than 30 mins. Thank you.

No doubt, you asked me whether do we want to go off now. But whats the point? I was there waiting and waiting and waiting. I am ok with YOU for not allow me to play the game. But please take notice of me and let me know.

Oh I forgot, you need to reply to "Stew Pork, Scobbydaddy, etc" Whatever, I am not interested, you have your rights to talk to whoever YOU want. From now on I will do what I want. Cos to me, only you have the rights and I don't have. Go ahead turn the tables around and be angry, as if I don't have a temper.

Goodness, I would be in living hell again, from YOU!!!!!!!