Worst night.

Damn, my right hand is so painful I can't sleep the whole night. It's not as in shown in movies, where the actor punch onto a piece of glass panel n his knuckles and max he is only having scratches. The doctor say I am lucky as the glass had not cut my fingers tendons. Any deeper my fingers could be gone. But the piece of skin that was dangling could drop off.

The whole clean up process is so painful, 1st the doctor has to clean away my dry blood using the medicated lotion, it sure feels like 100 of bees stinging me. Next come the most painful part, he lift up my skin using a princer and starts probing into the wound with it to look for any foreign object (glass) that may still be in it. All the time the blood flows like a river. After a good 1 min, the doctor was satisfied that there isn't any glass left in my wound. After which, he starts to apply a pressure bandage on my wound to stop the bleeding. It could be remove the next morning and I have to apply a new dressing over it myself. All in all the whole doctor's fees was a whopping $76.00. I should have went to mediacl school myself. LOL

I woke up in the middle of the night and the pain is so unbearable. I am 1 who will admit that I could endure a lot of pain. Problem is there are 2 parts of my body feeling the pain, on my right hand and in my heart. The 1st is still bearable, no doubt I cannot clunch my fist. It is nothing compare to my heart. I think there's no more light at the end of the tunnel now. Sometimes, as humans we love to be able to spend our whole life with someone that we like, but due to some reasons it is not possible no matter how hard we tried. Its better not to go against it, if not at the end, it will be painful for both parties.

My heart has bled to death, nothing can revive it now. I know what to do next thou I may not wish to do it but it is a must for me to do.